Mood swing? My menses over already, definitely not pms.
Yesterday, I had a bad feeling. I don't know why I would reacted so strongly for Eileen's words.
Yesterday I had dinner with the Buis @ ECP. We'd arranged to meet at 7.30pm, at Ju shin jung korean bbq restaurant. I mentioned this restaurant previously, eileen went before & commented their food is nice.
Bf came fetch me @ 6pm. We reached ECP around 7.10pm, and managed to park the car at 7.3opm. I called up Jinhui who is on the way, and learnt from him that tony who is fetching eileen would be late.
After visiting the toilet, Bf and I headed towards the restaurant direction. Then I received a missed call from eileen. I called back,
eileen: wru.
me: at here.
eileen: where la
me: the korean restaurant here. u?
eileen: we at 2nd floor.
me: ok,i'm walking up now.
Then Bf took a puff and few mins past...
We took the stairs up to 2nd level. Upon opening the door, we'r inside the restaurant already. I took a quick glance and didn't see my friends. So, i called back eileen.
me: wru
eileen: 2nd level.
me: me also, i inside the restaurant
eileen: tot u say u downstairs, we still outside the restaurant waiting for u lei
me: ya, and i walked up already ma. ok..
And I hung up the call. At that moment, I'm so pissed off. SO angry. Kana given attitude for nothing.
I asked the staffs if they have any entrance here, and they pointed to me another door. And we walked out from there. Except michael, all are there.
While walking towards the door, My tears reached my eyes already, and so i didn't look at them. I was fuming inside. I don't know why & what had triggered my "super angry" mode. How on earth would I know there is TWO entrance in this restaurant? I never been here before. I'm the first to reach, but i didn't complain. HOw on earth would i know the staircase I took is directly into the restaurant?!
So upset, for nothing i'm given attitude. Then I kept quiet. And throughout the whole night, i didn't talked to her.
I reflected my own words/speech. I didn't give or sound harsh. Or maybe she mean nothing. But the words & tone hurts.
I've been consoling myself, talking to myself. THat, this is actually a very small matter. I need not feel upset. Or perhaps i'm too sensitive, and thus i feel so unhappy.
Then I realised one thing, nobody would like to be slapped with attitude words. At times, when we don't mean anything hurtful, we'd actually hurt the opposite party with that tone & speech of ours.
THen I told myself, I must not feel angry. I must control my temper. No matter how angry or sad I am, I musn't vent it on others.
*************************************************
The other day when I browsed through my blog, I read through the entry I wrote about Joey. Then alot of things flushed into my mind. I thought alot...alot... Everything that happened. and i didn't mentioned over at my blog.
Then I came to realise that I don't hate her already. In fact, I don't dislike her anymore. I put myself as a outsider, & even put myself into her shoes. Perhaps she is not as terrible as I thought. She is also a woman. She's working for what she wants.
Different people, different opionions/views/ way of doing things. If I know my ex-bf has a gf already, I would leave him alone & not interfer with him anymore. In fact, I'm the kind of so-called heartless people. I don't contact my ex-bf after broke off, no matter how much I love him. Because already broke off, why still contact. Be friends? very rarely. I don't like.
Well, I can't stop her from her doings. But I can definitely stop myself from feeling uphappy. ANd right now, I could feel that I've lighten my load. I need not be bothered by what she did. Afterall, My bf had right from the beginning proved & make the efforts to gain my trust for him. And yes, I should trust my bf. Isn't it the way to live happily?
It will only make yourself miserable to hate a person.
Cheers Jamie! :)
*************************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment