How should I start about talking my feelings??
Right from the beginning ba........................................
Work was good for me. Because I could feel Lady Luck be with me. Meaning I'm selling shots at good rate & speed. Then around 3am, I've hit minimum target. So, I thought I could go further & go for 2nd target. Which is, I left another 38 more shots in 1.5hrs. I told myself I can do it, and make it fast.
Throughout the whole night, I'm at Dragonfly. I was walking around dfly while looking for my friend, as he brought shots but went missing. Then, as I was walking through the squeezy path, a person on my right stopped me. * I always walked through this path blindly, because this path has got many people around so I need to OPEN way for myself to walk through. *
I looked up, and saw JOEY TAN. She is ex-gf of Kelvin loh. Meaning, my bf's ex-gf.
She was wearing heels so she's taller than me. And that I gotta looked up when talking to her.
She stopped me but I started the conversations.
My first reaction was surprised and said...... A, hi.. how are you.
She looked at me while weaving her hair and said : Oh well life is so beautiful you know. with that arrogrant voice!
My thinking was, FUCK UP. What are u trying to act?!
Joey then asked another Qns. What are u still doing here?
Me: Just part-time.
Joey weaving her hair again, and give me a kind of hao-lian look & says: part-time or full-time don't work.
Then after she finished her sentences, she laughed & turned to her friend, and whispered into her ears. And that gal turned & looked at me.
I was thinking, are you telling your friend : she is my ex-bf's now gf. OR she's kelvin now gf.
When the gal looked at me, I give a smile and say hi. meanwhile give her a hand-shake & says I'm jamie.
I think I am just being polite of myself.....
I then smiled to both and walked off.
Then I am thinking... what the fuck! why i will see you?!!!
For the rest of the night, I carried on with my work. You may think that I got drunk because of her? NO. U are wrong. I was drunk because i drank alot & i mixed with martell as well.
But, i don't deny that this was something that make me feel uncomfortable for the night.
I smsed bf. And quarrrelled with him while on my way home. Even when i reached home, i still quarreling with him. Actually i'm the one who is quarrelling. Because he is busy to work, yet i think i know i don't wana hang up the call. I know i'm being unreasonable.
My mum asked who do i quarrel with. I told her it's bf. And relate the scenerio to her. She says Let her be. Kelvin himself is aware of what he is doing also. If it's yours, it would be yours. SEE OPEN.
Then i told mum, Yes i know. but it is her that make me so buay song!. Nobody will ever know how i feels. nobody will understand the feelings. i always tell myself too. she's happy that i'm angry.
I don't know if she do read my blog anot. I DON'T WANT her to know my blog. friends, if u are friends with her, please do me a favour by NOT to let her know! Not that i'm afraid of her or what. BUT i don't want her to know my life. If ever one day i found out that she is reading my blog, i will closed this blog.
I want to say..... I hope, i wish, I will not see JOEY TAN again. Because i really do not know how to fake smile. I really do not know how to act. I cannot talk / smile to a person i don't like. And yes, I don't like you.
It's you yourself that make me disliked you. Right from the beginning, I take you as friend. But it's your actions that sucks! Your hypocrite actions makes me wana kill you. Kelvin has already made clear to you that he won't be with you again, why do u still wana cling on to him like a leech?! You wana tell me still u two are friends? Please have some shame, he has gf already. Do spare a thought for others. Oh, well, i'm not ur friend anyway, but i'm ur rival. of cos u wont spare a single thoughts for me.
Well, i'm like talking to myself!!!!! ARGH~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okie. I'm much feelings better. Because i told my siblings my feelings........................ i'm a person that i need listeners whenever i feel down. or else, i will get depression!!!!! lols...
In the night, Bf came fetch me. Meeting up with his buddies. Initially planned to go prawn-fishing, but time kinda late, so called off. Then went to chill @ TCC. Bf haven't take dinner, so he drove to balestier. And we settled down for Bak Tuk Teh. He then says, u drink soup huh......
Arh.... i know he is caring..... Or isit i'm too optimistic? hahaha. ok, i knew he do cares.
Btw, bf's friend do read my blog. If u remember, his name is BEN. and ben did told bf that he read my blog... bf asked why i wana blog. i replied, it's just a blog, what's wrong. He says, i don't want others to know about ours.
Yah, i know he said that before. And i already never post much about my lovelife................
OK. finished ranting..
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