sad.

what the hell right? why should i be bother by HER again?
i don't know why. time and again, i'm sad & angry by HER!
HER = bf's ex girlfriend. her name is joey.

it's so coincidence of how i get to know her.
early this year, march, i went bangkok with a group of friends. me,eileen,yenn thought some guys going with us would be alot better. so eileen asked her friend, bernard if he wana join us. then bernard asked his friends along too. his friends includes Bill, his gf joey, chris n jason. *this is how i know her.* during the trip, i never talk much to her. even when shopping, we ain't together too. she n bill are going separate way from us. after bangkok trip, i saw them almost every friday at dragonfly. all the while, only surface chit-chat...

she took part in Star Idol 2006. i don't know if she's in top 10 or 20. in recent channel 8 drama, she's in few scenes too. the role is either someone's mistress or snatch people's bf.

then in june, i met kelvin. through chit-chat, i happened to know that his ex-gf of 8years+ is Joey. n he's kinda surprised that i know joey too. singapore is so freaking small?? or heaven is playing a joke on me?!

before we got together, we went Double-O on one saturday. kelvin msg her saying he likes a gal that she know & went bangkok with. initially joey thought it's eileen. then knew it's me. she msg him saying jamie is a nice gal, n that they shall not contact each other then. i seen the sms.
then i felt that he still care how she feels. because he got dead drunk that nite! his friends told me *kel & joey* are still friends even after broke up, maybe he's upset why she wana stop contacting.

they went separate way last year. she has bad temper. both felt that separate for some time might be better. then she got a boyfriend, which is bill. and kelvin found out, so they confirm the break up.

well, she do contact kelvin. she's regretful & hint words to him of getting back. telling him, she wasn't happy being with bill, etc.

recently she & bill broke up already. i don't know the reason.

i'm aware that she calls kelvin. because kelvin told me. always asking him how is he getting on,how's work,how's relationship with jamie, etc. telling him she's going for SIA interview, there's no one she really trust. she only trust him, confide in him.

HELLO, do u ask regards very often like every week? yah,i'm feeling uneasy! n this is what i thought! u trust him, but do u remember u'r one who betrayed him?

then kelvin told me, saying joey says: jamie is a good gal. it tough to work nightLife. u gotta be understanding. i saw her working at dragonfly. she's not like other promoters. don't worry. she never hanky panky with people.

i was like WHAT THE FUCK! u'r like such a hypocrite lei. i don't need u to say such things ok. u make me feel so uncomfortable! to me, u'r like being a very nice person. then if i ever say bad words about u to kelvin, then i'm a BAD man. because u'r so GOOD yet i still bad mouth u.

anyway i never talk much about her to kelvin too. even when i saw her, i never mention. only she will.

one tuesday, i went movie with eileen,yenn at cineleisure. AGAIN, so coincidence. saw her n bill. that time they'r still together. me n kelvin are an item already. i did smile to her when i see her. she saw me n look away. i was thinking, FINE THEN. then when we'r outside cine, saw them again. really YUAN JIA LU ZAI. i was on the phone, eileen,yenn went to talk to them. then eileen told me, eh joey behave like don't wana talk. HELLO before that i'm feeling the same but i never tell eileen. then now eileen can tell me the same thing. not that i influence eileen lor. she feels e same too. i never tell kelvin i met joey. then on thurday, while chit-chatting with kelvin,
he: that day u saw joey ah.
me: huh... y lei.. * thinking, like that also wana tell him meh?*
he: oh nothing lah, joey call me this afternoon mah. then got say she saw u at cineleisure.
me: yah. she with her bf mah.
he: she say u all see each other like so awkward.
me: isit.....
in my heart, i'm saying WTF! i did smile to u, n u'r e one who's unfriendly lei. yet u tell kelvin we'r awkward? i don't wana say much.

last time when i saw her at dragonfly, *just started dating with kelvin* i would still smile to her. then she look at me and walk away. i'm thinking, what the fuck.............!

there's once that she broke up with bill already, i saw her at Dfly, then she cried to me. hugging me, sneezing her PI TI, then saying; no one really care how i feels. don't worry, i'll be strong.
Then what i do? i keep looking at her eye, BUT I SEE NO TEARS LOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REALLY KNOW HOW TO ACT!

just imagine i never feel awkward lei. i still treat u as my friend. u'r the one being unfriendly. yet still tell kelvin the opposite. u make me feel u'r so TWO-HEAD SNAKE.

how on earth there's always such annoying person?

there's one day, kelvin told me his friend, Evon was at Double-O on friday. Evon saw joey at DBL-O. Evon says joey's boyfriend is her friend so they shared the same table. joey pretend don't know Evon. n so Evon neve talk to her. THen Evon told kelvin mah. On my way home from work at st.James, i called kelvin. he told me. i says Bill is at dragonFly lei. he asked if i see wrongly. WTF! i continue, NO lor.... i never see wrongly lei. i was at their table lei. then kelvin says or maybe she has got new bf lor.

then couple of days later, kelvin told me, she called him. as usual, asking how's he getting on.
ME THINKING, * Eh BUAY SIAN MEH?*
he asked her Eh,u've got new bf ah. She replys No....never got bf.

well well well..............................................................

actually i know i need not to so bothered by her. but i feel that she's such a hpocrite!!!!!
ARGH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trying to act and gain sympathy from everyone.
i really don't know why kelvin would believe her.
.
hello! isit because of the YEARS u've know her?
i know u & her know for more than 9 years. been togther for around8years + too. but do u remember she betrayed ur trust before lei!!!!!
i'm soooooo fucking angry because i felt that u tend to believe her more than ur girlfriend ME.
tell me, which and who will be so tolerant like me??!!!
just imagine, ur bf dun believe what u said, he chose to believewhat his ex 's said!
wat the fuck!i really feel heart ache!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanted to cry out loud!

on the other hand, i console myself.
or maybe she ain't as bad as i thought?
they can't be couple, but they are still friends.

all these i'm aware. just feeling uncomfortable.

yesterday at dragonfly, i saw my friend, mikkeal. i know him at club momo 2years back. he's staying in aust or us. back in town once a while. friendly hug with him. *last week i saw joey came with mikkeal to dfly.* yesterday she's with him too. never stay too long, n went to continue my work.

as usual, bernard,bill, e rest are there. i've stop selling shots. i went to look for bernard. bill looks tipsy. i was talking to bernard's brother,shawn. then talking to bill. which i couldn't remember what i talked to him already. then joey came. looks like they 'r displeased with each other. i don't remember what happened.

what i wana say is, i wonder if she'll call kelvin........................................

yesterday i drank quite alot. i SMSed kelvin when i'm at cab..
i'm on my way home. Did your ex girlfriend msg you?
18mins later.
y no reply? busy talking to her? anyway i think whatever i say u won't believe me.afterall u n her has got years of relationship. whatever it's.

he called my both HPs. i never answered. then i switched off my hp. i don't wana answer. don't wana talk to him.

then i concuss on the sofa straight after i got home. never even bathe lor.....

Morning 9+, i woke up, i looked at my hp... then i felt so stupid of what i msg kelvin. i noe he's busy working. sigh.................................................................................

went bathed n back to sleep.

kelvin called at 1pm. he always give me morning call.....
initially i don't wana answer....then he called another hp.... n i pick up.
he says, it's 1 o'clock.....
me: ok.
he:ok.
me: mm,bye.
n put down the phone.

then he never call again...............................

n i went to shop.

i know he's waiting for my call. he's always angry when i'm drunk. i felt i'm like so unreasonable.

what should i do............................